Have you ever felt like the smallest inconvenience sends you into a rage? Or conversely, have you ever felt completely numb and "checked out" during a stressful conversation?

These reactions aren’t signs that you are "broken." They are signs that your nervous system has been pushed outside of its Window of Tolerance.

Coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, the Window of Tolerance describes the optimal zone of arousal where we function best. When you are within your window, you can handle the ups and downs of life. You might feel stress, pressure, or sadness, but you can think clearly, make decisions, and connect with others. You are grounded, present, and able to self-regulate.

However, stress and trauma can shrink this window, making it easy to get pushed out into two different states:

1. Hyperarousal (The "Fight or Flight" Zone)

When you are pushed above your window, your nervous system kicks into overdrive. You may experience:

Anxiety, panic, or racing thoughts.
Anger, irritability, or rage.
Physical tension, a racing heart, or an inability to sit still.
A feeling of being unsafe or overwhelmed.

2. Hypoarousal (The "Freeze" Zone)

When you drop below your window, your system shuts down to conserve energy. You may experience:

Numbness or emptiness.
Dissociation (feeling disconnected from your body or the world).
Depression, lethargy, or brain fog.
Difficulty speaking or moving.

How to Get Back in the Window

The goal of therapy isn’t to get rid of stress completely—it’s to widen your window so you can handle stress without falling apart. Here are a few ways to return to your window:

If you are Hyperaroused (Anxious/Angry):

You need to discharge energy. Try shaking your hands and legs, going for a brisk walk, pushing against a wall, or using deep, slow exhales (breathing out longer than you breathe in).

If you are Hypoaroused (Numb/Frozen):

You need gentle stimulation. Try wrapping yourself in a weighted blanket, using strong sensory input (holding an ice cube or smelling a lemon), or gently rocking your body.

Understanding your nervous system is the first step toward healing. If you feel like you are constantly living outside your window, we are here to help you find your way back to center.